Humans live longer than most other animals. If we don't succumb to an illness or disease, and we take care of our bodies, many of us can expect to live well into our seventies, eighties, or beyond. During our long life spans, it's inevitable that we'll disappoint someone. A parent, teacher, friend, or even a stranger, somewhere along our journey we're destined to let someone down.
The worst person we can disappoint, is ourselves.
We live our lives, being told we need to do certain things; go to school, get a job, get married. Have children, be a useful member of society. Some of us conform to these idea's, some of us break the mold, and live beyond these social ideals. No matter what path we choose to take, we need to be sure we're doing it for the right reasons. We need to stop doing certain things because that's the 'normal' way of life, or because we're afraid of letting someone down. We deserve to put our needs, and hopes, before anyone else's, because, frankly, who else will?
Thinking back to myself at 7, 10, 15 years old, I wonder what I'd think of who I've become. How would my younger self see the person I am today? Would I be content to know what I'd turn into? Would I be angry that I didn't go down the path I thought I would? Maybe. Would I be a disappointment to myself? Definitely. That's a sobering thought.
I've put off doing certain things, taking certain paths, because I've felt I wasn't ready. I was scared. I am scared. Of stepping too far beyond my comfort zone, and of failure. I'm scared that the world may see me for what I am; a self-conscious woman with some serious issues to tackle, and that it'd crush me beneath it without a second thought.
But I'm tired of being scared. I'm tired of being ashamed of myself, for not trying to live as I want, for not actively pursuing my dreams. I'd rather take the chance at failing, then live knowing I let my life slip away in mediocrity.
